Appendix – NLP for Rookies

Appendix

Additional exercise

Collapsing negative anchors

1. Imagine two circles on the floor in front of you. Make one a positive circle and the other negative.

2. Step into the negative circle and think of a negative memory or experience.

3. Spend a couple of moments recalling all the details of it (submodalities). Recall everything that happened and how it made you feel.

4. Break state.

5. Step into the positive circle and think of a really positive experience, one that makes you feel truly fantastic and happy. Spend a couple of minutes truly associating with this experience. Strengthen all the submodalities within this positive experience so that it feels stronger than the negative experience did.

6. While you are standing within the positive circle, begin trying to think about the negative feeling. Maybe even talk out loud about it and as you do, notice how the negative feelings and your physiology attached to this emotion have now changed.

7. Step out of the circle and break state.

8. Now step back into the positive circle again and repeat steps 5 and 6. Notice that the more you attempt to think about your negative experience, the more difficult it becomes to recall the negative elements of it.

9. Repeat and practise.

Glossary

Accessing cues

Subtle behavioural traits, responses that indicate which representational systems are being operated. Can be eye movements, body posture, gestures, tonality, etc.

Anchors

Can be set up either intentionally or naturally. The process by which an external stimulus can trigger an internal automatic response. Response is often a physiological sensation – fear, happiness, etc.

Auditory

To do with the sense of hearing.

Associate

Experiencing something from your own perspective, as if you have stepped into the experiencing – seeing what you see, hearing the sounds you hear and feeling what you’re feeling inside yourself.

Behaviour

Our specific activity by which we interact with our environment both internally and externally.

Beliefs

Generalizations that you hold about the world, which are closely knitted to the values you hold. Beliefs can be empowering or limiting, and they can tint the way that you see the world. The beliefs that you have about something are not always correct, and this applies to beliefs about yourself and others.

Calibration

A skill which involves being able to tune into another person’s feelings and the state they are experiencing by applying knowledge of body language and non-verbal signs which could indicate different feelings.

Chunking

The organization of information into smaller or larger pieces to present information on a logical level, in relevance to the information being processed and the person processing it. “Chunking down” means becoming more specific; tiny details. “Chunking up” means dealing with information on a larger, sometimes more abstract level; the bigger picture.

Congruence

When a person’s internal strategies, beliefs, values and behaviours are all in alignment, unified and in agreement, working together for the same outcome.

Conscious mind

The mind that you’re consciously aware with as you read this. The conscious mind is in charge of your thoughts in the present moment, and can hold around seven chunks of information (plus or minus two) before it gets overloaded. You also use your conscious mind to keep aware of your environment at each moment, and to make decisions with.

Deep structure

Our internal neurological maps that we use to interpret our own perceived reality of our environment.

Deletion

Involves deleting the details from what you are experiencing. This can happen in everyday language, when you can either get the specific details through using the Meta model to help understanding of the situation, or use general language to help elicit change by using it in Milton model language patterns.

Distortion

The process by which information is altered or changed to inaccurately represent itself within someone’s personal reality. Often related to an individual’s belief system.

Disassociate

Looking in on a certain experience as an observer, such as when you watch a movie.

Ecology check

Making sure that the outcome a client is aiming towards fits with the different parts of their life to make the change stick.

Elicitation

The gathering of information from oneself or from another, either through direct or indirect observation or questioning.

Environment

The surrounding, external world, context or situation in which we exist, with which we interact and to which we respond.

Eye accessing cues

Certain eye movements that signal which representational system (visual, auditory or kinaesthetic) someone is using at any moment.

Future pacing

Rehearsing future situations, experiences and outcomes in order to prepare the subconscious mind, so that it has a chance to practise the desired behavioural responses.

Generalization

This occurs when you generalize one learning experience to all future similar experiences. For example, if one presentation doesn’t go the way you plan, you may generalize this learning to other presentations. Generalization can be detected in language, both in Meta model and Milton model patterns. Generalizations usually include words such as always, never and can’t.

Gustatory

To do with the sense of taste.

Hypnosis

A common natural trance-like state that you experience on a daily basis. During hypnosis your conscious mind relaxes while your unconscious mind is active, and becomes able to absorb suggestions it agrees with to allow positive change.

Installation

The learning and creation of a new behaviour, strategy or response. Can be done through reframing, future pacing, anchoring or metaphors.

Kinaesthetic

To do with the sense of feeling, both emotional and tactile.

Leading

This is the stage that can occur in rapport after you have paced someone else’s view of the world. Leading involves bringing another person around to what you want to happen in a certain situation.

Matching and mirroring

A way of building rapport with others by matching their view of the world as they see it, from their map. This involves allowing yourself to be influenced by their beliefs about the world and also mirroring their body language, including body movements and other non-verbal signals such as voice tone and speed of speech.

Meta model

A model containing language patterns which allow us to break down another person’s language (or what you say to yourself) to recover the real meaning or deep structure. This model includes patterns of generalization, distortion and deletion.

Meta programs

Deeply held values that we are not always aware of and that direct our behaviour and motivations. Various Meta programs can run at alternate faces of our lives and independently or simultaneously. Meta programs include towards/away from, global/detail, sameness/difference and thought/feeling.

Metaphor

The explanation of a subject, experience or situation using a process of thinking that links understanding one thing to the terms of another, i.e. by stories, analogies or tales.

Milton model

An NLP term used to describe the methodology behind Milton Erickson’s methods. The Milton model uses generalized language, including distortion, generalization and deletion, which allows the listener to choose their own more suitable interpretation. The general language used in the Milton model helps the listener to access their own unconscious resources and facilitates change.

Modelling

The process of observing, mapping, copying and reproducing another’s behaviour.

Olfactory

To do with the sense of smell.

Outcomes

Our goals, desired states, ambitions and aspirations for the future.

Pacing

A method used in rapport building to establish subconscious communication before installing or introducing a change of conversation, idea, concept or behaviour.

Parts

A metaphorical way of describing the various elements or structures in place in our subconscious.

Perceptual positions

This NLP technique involves looking at a situation from several different angles including your own point of view, another person’s view and as an outside observer of a problem. Provides different insights into a problem and helps to produce a solution and empathy, and facilitate the building of rapport.

Predicates

Process words used to describe a person’s thought process when using language to represent their reality, thinking and understanding via their representational systems.

Presuppositions

Statements that are taken for granted in order to make sense of a communicated sentence.

Rapport

Occurs when you build up respectful trust with others. Essential to effective communication. It is also a pillar of NLP.

RAS (reticular activating system)

A nifty system in your mind which helps you to filter the vast amount of information that reaches your senses every second so that you don’t get overloaded. The only information this system allows past its barriers is information that is survival crucial, new and fresh, and highly emotional in its content. Additionally it helps you to block out from your awareness anything that isn’t important to you in the moment.

Reframing

Looking at a situation in a different way to change the meaning it has for you. For example, if you want to feel more confident, by acting as if you are a confident individual you can see the world and challenging situations in a different way.

Representational systems

Representational systems include your senses, which pick up information from the outside world. They include visual, kinaesthetic, auditory, gustatory and olfactory systems.

State

Is the result of what we think and feel internally, and the physical sensations which follow from these.

Strategy

Behavioural processes; steps used to achieve a specific goal, process or outcome.

Submodalities

The specific elements (qualities) to our internal representational thinking. Sounds, shapes, focus, feelings, size, depths, etc.

Swish

An NLP process used to replace an unwanted state/behaviour with a more desirable state/behaviour.

Third position

Choosing to experience reality from another individual’s perspective or point of view.

Time line

Our personal mental diary, in which we store our memories, experiences, predictions and images for the past, present and future.

TOTE model

Stands for Test, Operate, Test, Exit. This model helps to detect how you and others use your submodalities to reach a certain goal. This allows you to change the submodalities that aren’t working for you in order to help you achieve your goals, and also to help others with theirs.

Translating

Rephrasing a word or sentence in a way that the listener can interpret and understand.

Trance

A heightened state of internal focus and attention, usually upon few stimuli.

Unconscious mind

Your unconscious mind is in charge of the processes outside your awareness. These include creating and storing memories. The unconscious mind helps to keep your body functions going (such as the beating of your heart) and is also thirsty for new learning experiences and is very creative. Your unconscious also helps you exercise your moral beliefs.

VAK

Shorthand for three of the representational systems: visual, auditory and kinaesthetic.

Values

Values are things in your life that are important to you and that you choose to live by. For example, your values could include money, recognition, health, friends or family. To be able to live your values there needs to be a trade-off, as you cannot live them all at once.

Visual

To do with the sense of sight.

Well-formedness/conditions

The specific information detailing a goal and the steps needed in order to achieve it, taking into consideration all the individual’s motivations, resources, environment, beliefs, feedback, contexts and sensory awareness.

References

Andreas, S., and C. Faulkner, NLP: The new technology of achievement, Nicholas Brealey Publishing, London, 2002.

Bandler, R., and J. Grinder, Frogs into Princes: Neuro-linguistic Programming, Real People Press, Boulder, Colorado, 1979.

Bandler, R., P. McKenna and M. Neill, Neuro-linguistic Programming: NLP Master Practitioner Manual, NLP Seminars Group International, UK, 1996.

McDermott, I., and W. Jago, The NLP coach: A comprehensive guide to personal wellbeing and professional success, Judy Piatkus Limited, London, 2001.

Molden, D., and P. Hutchinson, Brilliant NLP: What the most successful people know, do and say, Pearson Education Limited, Harlow, 2008.

O’Connor, J., NLP Workbook: A practical guide to achieving the results you want, Element, London, 2001.

O’Connor, J., and J. Seymour, Introducing NLP: Psychological skills for understanding and influencing people, Thorsons, London, 1993.

Owen, N., The magic of metaphor, Crown House Publishing, Carmarthen, 2001.

Ready, R., and K. Burton, Neuro-linguistic Programming for Dummies, John Wiley & Sons Ltd., Chichester, 2004.