Index – Middle School Makeover: Improving the Way You and Your Child Experience the Middle School Years

Index

A

abstract thinking, 44, 65

activities, limiting, 132133

American Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, 156

amygdala, 3536, 160

anger, 111112, 160

antisocial behavior, 141144

apologies, 113114

ask.fm, 91. See also social media

aspirations, 4

Athena’s Path, 3, 3334, 173

B

bedtime, 6061

blame, 22

body changes, 4, 5, 119, 145149

illness, 159

in parents, 151, 153155

plastic surgery and, 155159

body image, 156157

body language, 103

Boteach, Shmuley, 56

Botox, 156

Botox Brow, 3031, 5255, 6162, 142

brain development, 4, 5, 2136

ability to read facial expressions and, 3031, 5255

empathy and, 3536

gender differences in, 24

in parents, 151, 159161

parents as assistant managers and, 2531

temporal lobe purges and, 3233

bravery, 4041

bribery, 60

Buckingham, Browne & Nichols school, 1320

bullying, 107114, 129

C

CafePress.com, 149

Campbell, Joseph, 104

cell phones, 127130

Charlotte Center for Balanced Living, 157

clothes, 1415, 1718, 104, 115119

experimentation with, 37

individuality and, 3940

cognitive abilities, 160161

Combs, Amy, 157

communication, 6, 5162

about dating, 168169

about divorce, 167

about plastic surgery, 157158

cell phones and, 127130

changes in throughout childhood, 5152

encouraging, 5961

expressing feelings in, 5455

facial expressions and, 3031

for improved impulse control, 26

impulse control and, 2531

lack of, 5762

practicing responses to tough situations, 3135

problem solving and, 6770

social media and, 8587

competency, 137140

concrete thinking, 44

confidence, 129

independence and, 140

learned helplessness and, 16

responding to tough situations and, 3135

control, 27, 65

counseling, professional, 100, 109110, 111112, 167

Coupland, Douglas, 22

creativity, 91

crises, diffusing, 6381

critical thinking skills, 6, 2431, 2531

identity development and, 4041

micromanaging, 2631

practicing, 27, 3133

criticism, constructive, 26

D

dating, 131135, 168169

decision making skills, 24

discipline

bullying and, 113114

emotion and, 46

judgment vs., 5557

role models for, 122123

for sibling issues, 143, 144

for sneaky behavior, 122125

divorce, 166168

Dress Code DEFCON Levels, 117118

drug use, 134

E

emotions

diffusing, 6381

discipline and, 46

empathy, 3536

inability to read facial expressions and, 2021, 5254

problem solving and, 70

empathy, 3536

during identity development, 42

for loss of friends, 99

problem solving and, 68

risk taking and, 46

in sibling issues, 144

Erikson, Erik, 41, 43, 162

etiquette, 88, 129

expectations, 29

bullying and, 113

parents’ experiences of middle school and, 78, 1112, 152153

reframing, 20

self-fulfilling prophecy from, 1011

on social media use, 8889

experimentation, 37, 115119. See also risk taking

F

Facebook, 90, 172. See also social media

facial expressions, 3031, 5255

faith in humankind, 4

forgiveness, 112113

freedom, 3

Free-Range Kids (Skenazy), 138

friends, 60

abandonment by, 97100

dating and, 131135

limiting activities vs., 132133

nurturing, 110

G

gender differences

in brain development, 24

Generativity vs. Stagnation, 162

Grant, Amy, 37

guilt, 121, 123

H

Hero’s Pursuit, 3, 33, 104105, 173

hobbies. See interests

Homesick and Happy (Thompson), 139

humor, 102

Hurt Locker, The, 63

I

identity crisis, 4143. See also identity development

identity development, 4, 5

allowing early opportunities for, 3940

bullying and, 112113

clothes and, 37, 115119

experimentation in, 3740

failure in, 4243

independence and, 137140

in parents, 151, 161162

stickiness of middle school experiences in, 20

straddling childhood and adulthood during, 4143

Identity vs. Role Confusion, 43, 162

impulse control, 24, 2531

identity development and, 4041

parental assistance with, 26, 2931

practicing, 3133

problem solving and, 7778

independence, 137140

individuality

allowing early expression of, 3940

clothes and, 115119

rebellion and, 45

Instagram, 8592. See also social media

interests, 1820

brain development and, 3233

encouraging, 103104

making connections based on, 101105

nurturing, 110

of parents, 61

social immaturity and, 149

social media and, 85, 87, 9091

Internet, 3, 9395, 108, 149, 172. See also social media

Intimacy vs. Isolation stage, 43

J

judgment

Botox Brow and, 3031, 5455

discipline vs., 5557

on social media use, 8990

K

kidnapping, 138

L

learned helpless, 1516, 78

legacy, desire to leave, 162

lifestyle, 2

limits, setting, 29

lipoplasty, 156

logical thinking, 6465

M

marriage maintenance, 164166

mastery, 103

maturity levels, 145149

MichelleintheMiddle.com, 3, 108, 172

middle school and middle schoolers

author’s years in, 1320

bad rap for, 910

high school experience and, 1920

history of, 910

inability of to read facial expressions, 3031

parents’ experiences of/expectations about, 78, 1012

reframing, 12

stickiness of experience in, 20

what to love about them, 34

modeling

dating, 135

forgiveness, 113

sneaky behavior and, 122123

vulnerability, 59

money management, 102, 129

morality, 77

sexuality and, 9395

social media and, 8990

motivation

through social rewards, 4649

music, 101102

N

Nixon, Charisse, 1516

normal, desire to be, 9899, 127

O

Ophelia Project, The, 16

optimism, 4

P

parents and parenting, 151169. See also communication; discipline

as assistant managers, 2531

brain changes in, 159161

caring for their own parents, 163164

changes experienced by, 151, 153155

competency checklist for, 171172

dating, 168169

expectations of, 1011

fears of, 138139

as fixing, 6

happiness of based on children, 61

illnesses and, 159

impulse control and, 26

marriage maintenance and, 164166

micromanaging in, 2631

middle school memories of, 78, 20

plastic surgery and, 155159

problem solving by, 6669

risk taking support by, 37

self-care for, 6, 151, 153, 161162

perfection, 9899

personality

supporting your child’s, 3839

physical changes, 65

pity moment, 123

plastic surgery, 155159

pop culture, 78

popularity, 101105

pornography, 9395

positivity, 160

privacy, 129

problem-solving skills, 6, 6381

aging and, 160161

brain development and, 6263

cell phones and, 129

challenges in, 7680

flow chart for, 81

getting buy-in and, 70

loss of friends and, 99

parental discomfort and, 7880

parental sabotage of, 6869

practicing, 3235, 6667, 80

for put-downs, 109

sample scenarios on, 7175

psychosocial development stages, 4143, 162

Q

quests, 104105

R

rebellion, 45

reframing, 12, 24

repairs, learning to make, 102

research, 23

revenge, seeking, 7677

Right in the Middle, 173

risk taking

brain development and, 2123

dating and, 134135

importance of, 44

impulse control and, 26

independence and, 137138

motivation for, 3740

social rewards in, 4649

supporting, 37, 4549

S

safety issues

independence and, 137140

social media, 90

safety nets, 58

Schroder, Ricky, 14

self-care, 6, 151, 153, 161162

self-esteem, 80

self-fulfilling prophecies, 1011, 12

self-reliance skills, 6, 129

sexuality, 9395, 154155

dating and, 131135

parents and, 166169

social immaturity and, 145149

shyness, 149

sibling issues, 141144

Silver Spoons, 14

Skenazy, Lenore, 138

skills

brain development and learning, 3233

sneaky behavior, 40, 121125

social coaching, 100

social injustice, 4

social leadership programs, 104105, 110, 173

social media, 2122, 8592, 172

bullying in, 112

communicating via, 5960

guidelines for using, 8890

impulse control and, 7778

social rewards, 4649

social situations, 3

brain development and, 2531

bullying, 107114

friendship changes, 97100

identity development and, 4243

immature kids and, 145149

importance of, 46

learned helpless in, 1516, 78

making connections without sports, 101105

practicing situations in, 3135

put-downs, 107110

sports, 101105

Steinberg, Laurence, 4647, 137

study skills, 134

style, sense of, 115118. See also clothes

support systems, 58

T

theoretical thinking, 44

Thompson, Michael, 139

trust

risk taking and, 45

Twain, Mark, 51

Twitter. See social media

V

values, 95

plastic surgery and, 157, 158

village, creating for your child, 58

vulnerability

modeling, 59

W

websites

CafePress.com, 149

MichelleintheMiddle.com, 3, 108, 172

sexuality on, 9395

Y

Yurgelun-Todd, Deborah, 5254